Stupid Tourist!!!
Fuck, I feel so stupid.
It’s a whole new world - a bigger world where I don’t even know where to shop for panty liners. Can you imagine how scary that is?
Canada’s roads are bigger, but not better than New Zealands. The drivers have bigger cars, but the drivers themselves are not as corteous or disciplined as the Kiwis. The expressways can be described in just 2 words: big and dangerous. To make matters worst, for a stupid tourist like yours truly, not knowing whether your exit is 400 North or 400 East could be fatal. I say fatal because the wrong exit could lead you to a town in the middle of nowhere - about this time, I start thinking of scenes for that movie "Alive" and I give Eddie permission to eat the fats of my mid section to save him from dying of hunger.
The job is challenging. Actually, the job per se will take me about 3 months to master. Its the other aspects that are challenging. Like, how to get people to do what I want without firing them or having them quit on me. You all know how obsessive I can get sometimes and often I come across as a complete bitch when I’m being obsessive. I don’t mean to, but I just can’t help it. Ugh!!!! I start managing officially on Monday and at the top of my list is a general store cleaning and re-organisation. I can already see the looks on my employees faces when I tell them what I have in store for them. I just hope they give me a chance because I know that they could have someone worse.
I don’t know what the name of the power company is, or where the nice restaurants are. I don’t know what I’m getting when the milk carton says 1% - partly skimmed milk. Is it 1% skimmed 99% full fat or 99% skimmed and 1% full fat? Having everything translated in french was a novelty that lasted for about 2 weeks because now, when you pick something up, you have to turn it around till you find the english version of whatever it is you want to read.
No one says "Good day, mate!" or "cheers mate!" or "sweet ass" or "rubbish bin" anymore.
There are more choices for shopping located in big strip malls but somehow I miss the quaint little shops by the Chancery where the people are fit, gorgeous and even though deprived of shopping choices, seem more fashionable than those you see in the malls here.
Its October but its getting colder outside. Last October, I was packing my scarves and coats away and planing a trip to the beach with the gang. Worst of all, I’m getting quite freaked out about what to wear because everytime a local asks me if I have ever been around for winter in Canada and I say no, they either smirk, laugh or say something like "Well, you are in for a treat…" dripping in sarcasam.
Honey, something tells me that I’m not in Auckland anymore. At least Dorothy had those red slippers.
October 5th, 2006 at 7:15 pm
Relax… take it easy… makukunan ka nyan! joke lang.
October 5th, 2006 at 10:40 pm
lol pEGs no worries! it will get bone chillingly cold! So gloves, scarfs,EARMUFFS ARE A MUST! and a thick jacket! Layers, layers, layers are in honey. Boots. Water proof gloves and boots are a pretty good investment.
But you know what after a couple of days you’ll get use to it and it wont be that cold anymore. Ppl can be dick heads no matter what nationality they are.
October 8th, 2006 at 7:19 am
Hehehehe…. (dripping with sarcasm:) Better get those hats with those funny ear thingys on them. Good luck!
October 10th, 2006 at 1:36 am
Hey Pegs, glad to know we are not the only ones dying of low temperatures! It was bright and sunny here last week but this week..ugh..gusty winds! Little old me can be blown off to wherever Dorothy is!
So…is the milk colour-coded over there? Remember, drinking dark blue milk = eating 1 teaspoon of pure fat! I didn’t know about it until one of my colleagues told me. Gross really if you think about it that way.
Luv your new hair by the way! Went to Stephen Marr last week. I luv it! My hair feels so much lighter!!
Anyway, a parting thought from one of your GNO friends…always remember all those agavero we drank at Degree or those absinthe shots we drank at 6th sense and I’m sure you’ll warm up in no time…or barf!
October 24th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
Ey Guys, thanks for the comments.
- Grace!!!! SEXY natin ha!!! How are the boyfriend/s?
- Aud, how’s the crane? Give my regards will ya?
- Yls! Fucking Scholar. Don’t teach me how to spell man. I can spell perfektly all by mayself.
- TANZ!!! MISS YOU MISS YOU MISS YOU!!!! What else can I say. No such thing as color coded milk here. Just the percentage thing I don’t understand. Although I’m surprised it wasn’t Jo who told you about the 1 teaspoon full fat milk thing…it sounds like something Jo would say. Hahaha!!! I miss you girls!!!!